Many of you have sent emails and twitter messages about deadbeat dads. Well instead of writing a message to them I decided to give you a positive post on how having a great father can make a big difference in your life.

Stephanie Penn-Danforth, editor of Daily Venus Diva Magazine shares her memories of her father.

My Personal Blueprint…..My Dad

Growing up in a two parent home, I consider myself blessed. In one corner I had my mother who was easy to get along with but had a slight attitude. To my friends she seemed like the cool mom but to me and my brothers she was something fierce. Then you had my father, who I often referred to as a gentle giant. He yelled and spanked us when we got out of line but even when I disappointed him, I was “Daddy’s Little Girl”. I was his only daughter and he made sure he told me everyday how important I was to him and how much he loved me. He even went as far as requiring that I kissed him on his forehead every night before going to sleep. My dad was ¾ bald so his hair took up the sides and back of his head leaving the top of his head and forehead to feel the breeze. Initially my brothers and I would kiss his forehead but as his hairline went further back so did our kisses and before we knew it we were kissing him in the middle of his head every night.

For every good memory I had with my dad, there was an awkward memory also. I remember getting asked everyday, “What did you learn in school today?” When I told him “nothing” he knew I was lying and went through my notebooks as well as required my brothers and I to give presentations about current news events to the entire family. Another awkward moment was when he asked me who was courting me. I had never heard that word before but I knew he was asking if a boy was trying to pursue me.

I could go on forever of the memories I shared with my dad because there are so many to choose from. My father was there for my brothers and I. He wasn’t just there physically but he was there emotionally as well. He set examples for all of us. I looked to him for qualities to seek in a man and my brothers looked to him to determine what type of men they should become.

Although he was not perfect, the fact that he was in our lives and made an impact is the most important gift he gave us. Having a strong male presence in our lives was important to our development. We knew if we got out of line we would be in trouble so we didn’t dare do things he wouldn’t approve of. In fact, not wanting to let my father down motivated me to be the best kid possible. Not wanting to let him down eventually turned into not wanting to let myself down but it all started with my dad.

Years ago, I asked my mom if she thought things would’ve been different without my dad and since she’s always honest with me she said yes. It’s not that my mom could not do it alone if she had to but she and my dad realized that we had a better chance of making it with both of them in our lives.

I understand that everyone’s parents may not be married like my mom and dad but if you are a man who has a child, the greatest gift you can give your child is to be present in their lives. Visiting them once a year or even once a month does not cut it. They need you more than you realize and whether their mothers admit, women need you to be there for your child as well.

As I approach the New Year, I also approach the 13 year mark since my father passed in 1997. He died during my younger brothers senior year in high school and my 1st year of college. I think it’s ironic that he left us after my older brother and I had finished high school with just a few more months left for my little brother to finish. He had been sick for a while and it’s as if he stayed with us long enough to finish the job that was set before him……raise his kids.

You are put on earth for a reason. Your children are put here for a reason. Your connection with your children should come naturally and nothing should get in the way of that.

Stephanie Penn-Danforth