November 30, 2009
Kimberley Locke was spotted at the”Holiday Of Hope” Tree-Lighting Celebration & Benefit in Los Angeles.
Looking good Kim and no the “guess who” wasn’t for Santa.
It was for this man! Yes take a good look thickettes, it’s Harvey from “Celebrity Fit Club”, I didn’t recognize him at first and maybe that has to do with the smile he has on his face.
Who knew Harvey liked the thickettes….I love it! They make a cute couple.
November 27, 2009
November 25, 2009
This year is going by so fast and I have so many things to be thankful for.
I am thankful for…………………..
Knowing GOD for myself. Since I know Him for myself I will never allow others to speak for me & define who I am.
God showing me that my purpose was off track and to get back on His purpose and plans for me.
My family, your support and love is a blessing
My drive, passion and determination to reach my dreams/goals
Knowing my strengths, imperfections and growing from them.
My friends, I can honestly say my friends give the same dedication to me as I do to them. I love them so much
Knowing my value and worth I don’t expect perfection but I expect the quality I give to you is the same you give in return.
The past and present men in my life. The men in my family who show me how a woman should be treated and the other men in my life who taught me how to treat a man.
NotÂ settling! Life is too short to settle for a career, man or friend that doesn’t make you happy.
Having no regrets. Regrets can kill your spirit but lessons learned will renew it.
Having a meek spirit to constantly ask myself what I could have done in situations to make the other person feel better.
Knowing how to apologize (trust that’s a hard one for some people)
People who have lied, betrayed or manipulated me…..there can be no testimony without a test…so yes thank you and I will thank you when I get to the top. You didn’t bring value but you definitely gave me motivation!
And last but not least I am sooooooooooooooooooo thankful for YOU….my blog readers. Your visits to my blog and emails will never be taken for granted. I always appreciate your words of encouragement, honesty and I am so honored that you take time out of your day to visit thicksational.com
What are you thankful for?
Have a blessed Thanksgiving and to my other thickettes in other countries Happy Holidays. Love you all!
Alley’s show will specifically see the actress “launching a new weight loss program, patenting multiple inventions, working hard to raise two normal Hollywood teenagers, True and Lillie, taking care of eight ringtail lemurs, and on top of everything, looking for love.” (Source: LA Times)
Congrats to her but to be honest I’m nervous. Kristie hasn’t been the best thicksational celebritiy to look up to as far as loving herself as a thick woman (click here to see my last post on her). I just hope she realizes this show can make or break our community and how other people will notÂ only view her but view themselves. It’s one thing to get healthy but it’s totally different to say you look disgusting and hate how you look. Please Kristie do not go into a “I hate being plus size” cry on TV I beg you!
November 24, 2009
Thicksational singer/actress Jennifer Hudson will sing at the White House state dinner. In my opinion this also confirms she would have participated in theÂ PresidentialÂ Inauguration if she didn’t have her familyÂ tragedy. The Obamas love Jennifer and who can blame them, the girl can SING!
I don’t know if any of you saw Gabby on Oprah but she said something that so many people need to hear.
Oprah told the audience that director Lee Daniels said Gabby speaks “like a white girl from the Valley” and is so confident that she is “either in denial about her physicality or from another planet.” (Source)
“It’s something I’ve had to work at. My first diet started when I was six years old,” Gabby said. “I’ve never been a small girl. One day I had to sit down with myself and decide that I loved myself no matter what my body looked like and what other people thought about my body.”
She said that she was 21 or 22 when she finally became comfortable in her own skin. “I got tired of feeling bad all the time. I got tired of hating myself.”
I can relate to this story. I started my first diet at 9. It’s too young to be that aware and to constantly be told that you are different.
While ladies like Gabby and myself have already reached that point of healing and have learn to love ourselves and be comfortable in our own bodies, there are so many girls, boys, women and men who are still struggling with accepting who they are and loving themselves.
A thicksational clap to Gabby for sharing her story because so many people need to hear it and trust me when the time is right I will also share my story.
November 23, 2009
Thickettes and Thick Men it’s time to let it ALL OUT today. After all the emails and to be honest after my own experience within the past couple of months, I have come to realize that we have a lot of Emotional Vampires that are creeping into our lives or better yet have been there for so long that we haven’t even realized it (or maybe have but decided to ignore it).
Now as you know I always start off with a definition.
So what is an Emotional Vampire?
Emotional Vampire: A co-dependent person who looks outside of themselves for self definition and self worth. They tend to be self obsessed, negative and controlling. They are in an emotional black hole and refuse to see that they have a problem.
Here are some signs of an Emotional Vampire
1. External referencing: distrusting own perceptions, lacking boundaries, believing one cannot survive without a relationship/addicted to relationships, fearing abandonment, believing in the perfect union.
2. Caretaking: become indispensable, become a victim
3. Self-centeredness: personalizing all events, assuming responsibility for other’s behavior.
4. Over-controlling: increasing control efforts when chaos increases, attempting to control everything and everyone, controlling without caring for those controlled, believing that with more effort you can fix the addict/family.
5. Feelings: unaware of feelings, distorting emotional experiences/accepting only acceptable feelings, fearfulness.
6. Dishonesty: managing all impressions made, omitting/lying about the truth, rigidity.
7. Gullibility: being a bad judge of character, unwillingness to confront, over-trusting, accepting what fits, wishes the way things were.
Now after saying all of this you are probably thinking..
“I don’t know anybody like that..I could tell if someone had all of those issues”
WRONG! Emotional Vampires can hide who they are very well because most of them have had this dark cloud over them their whole lives.
At first they usually come into your lives VERY positive and only give you positive feedback/messages. However usually after a period of time the truth starts to come out, you find out these people truly are not happy with life. They have very random mood swings. One minute they are “happy” and the next minute they are depressed and want to either isolate themselves from the world or bring you down to their level.
For example, have you ever experienced someone who questions or is annoyed when someone is happy? I mean the person is REALLY annoyed and doesn’t understand why people are happy and have a smile on their face. Trust me when I tell you that people like that are dead inside and will NEVER understand someone who is so full of life.
They look at people who aren’t Emotional Vampires as if they are THE PROBLEM and EV’s love to surround themselves with people who are just as depressed and lonely as them.
However on occasions they do want to come out of their black hole and that’s when they meet you, the positive person who on the majority of your days has a positive outlook on life. Now I figured that an EV coming out of their “Why me, I hate life” mood is either a manipulating person and their only goal is to tear you down or this person is trying to find a way to heal themselves and get out of the dark hole.
EITHER WAY THEY ARE EMOTIONAL DRAINING ON THE SPIRIT!
Being an Emotional Vampire is an addiction just like someone who is on narcotics. Until the person is ready to deal with their internal issues they will continue to feed off of that addiction because that’s where they are comfortable. Can you try to help? Sure, but don’t get too involved because TRUST ME you will be the one hurt in the end. Why? Early in the definition it states that EV’s are gullible and are a bad judge of character, therefore they will ALWAYS pick the opposite of what they need to get out of their black hole. They refuse to choose the people who stay real and encourage them because those aren’t acceptable feelings. They select the people that are like minded and that’s why they continue to have the fakes, misery, depression and the lost soul. So eventually someone who is comfortable in their ways will start to retaliate against you. Like I said before they don’t understand you, you are speaking a foreign language.
They DO NOT want to hear
“Stop worrying about things you can’t control”
“Get the courage to stand up for yourself and have a different approach in life”
They rather hear
“Why are people treating me like this”
“Why can’t I be happy”
“If this person would only love me I would feel complete and better about myself”
If you are 30+ and always come with this lame a** attitude and constantly question people’s intentions in your life.
YOU’RE THE PROBLEM! STOP TRYING TO BLAME THE WORLD/PEOPLE FOR YOUR MISERY.
If you are dealing with an Emotional Vampire, you only have 3 options in this scenario: Fix it, Accept it or Remove yourself from it. If you have been dealing with this EV for a while you probably see by now trying to fix it hasn’t worked and accepting it still drains you. So at this point you might want to remove yourself from it. Now of course this maybe easier said than done because you may care about that person. However what it comes down to is……..who do you love more…
YOU or them?
Much love to you my thickettes and thick men. I know there are so many people who can relate to this and probably knows someone in their life right now who is an EV. If you don’t you are truly lucky or
Maybe you’re the Emotional Vampire!
Please leave your thoughts.
Janet kicked off the American Music Awards last night and she did her thing!
During and after her performance I was on Twitter and while most of us was sending nothing but positive energy to Janet…of course an ignorant person comes in and tried to ruin the moment.
Here’s what this fool had to say (via twitter)….keep in mind he “claims” to be a Janet fan and he is a THICK MEN.
JANET DID NOT SHUT IT DOWN #NOSHADE. KINDA DISAPPOINTED BUT ANYWAY SHE’S JANET JACKSON AND I STILL LOVE HER
about 13 hours ago from web
I LOVE JANET BUT SHE GOTTA LOSE SOME WEIGHT!
about 14 hours ago from web
JANET IS TIRED AS HELL YALL LOOK AT HER
about 14 hours ago from web
NOT FEELING JANET’S OUTFIT HOPEFULLY IT CHANGES
about 14 hours ago from web
IS THIS JANET OR BEYONCE
about 14 hours ago from web